Thoughts

So, I'm sitting back tonight, just thinking about life, mine in particular, and trying to look at it from a bigger aspect. How frustrated God must get with me! I know he really does'nt, that he loves me no matter how long I take to do his will, or come back to him, or remeber to thank him for the numerous blessings in my life. But I would be frustrated with me. I'd be ready to give up!
Lord, I thank you for all the blessings you give me each and everyday, right down to waking up each morning with another breath in my chest. For my family, for my friends, for getting my attention and showing me what a life with you can be like. Which I would'nt even have if it was'nt for your awesome grace and love. What a wonderful love it is, just thinking about all the mistakes I've made, the people I've wronged, all the times I turned my back on you, and you are always there with open arms, ready to fill me up again.
We have been studying the fruits of the spirit (love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfullness gentleness and selfcontrol) and last week was faithfullness. What an amazing week it was. So often I struggle with my faith, especially when so many around me don't share it. Who can blame them? It is so hard to trust something that you can't see, how do you know it's real? Everything in the world revolves around instant gratification, having it all, right now.
I know that I struggle with the believing part of it. SO many times I wonder if what I think is going on is really God working in my life or Satan. Is that something that God wants me to change, or is it Satan getting me to stumble again?
That's when the word of God comes in. EVERYTHING is in there! Oh and God will speak so clearly to you when you let him! He is just waiting there, patiently, for you to come and find out WHO he is. He wants you to know. I am really trying to spend time in the word everyday, consistently, and it can be really hard. But then when I spend time with Him, learning about WHO He is, the peace and joy that comes is more than worth it. Talk about your INSTANT GRATIFICATION! WOW! So many people search their whole lives for something this amazing. They spend so much time and energy, and money, and here it is: it is instant, and free!
Father God, I praise you! I pray that you would continue to reveal yourself to me, WHO you are, not what you do in my life. Please help me to see your will for my life and to accept it with an open heart and mind. Help me to have faith and beleive you at your word. In Jesus Name, Amen